Carlos Zambrano wants to remain with the Cubs, but the team may not share the same sentiment. Zambrano told ESPN's Pedro Gomez on Sunday night that he wanted to join the Cubs on Saturday but was told he couldn't. The right-hander left the Cubs on Friday night in St. Louis after being ejected for throwing at Atlanta's Chipper Jones. He left the clubhouse mentioning retirement. The Cubs have since placed him on the disqualified list, meaning he will serve a 30-day suspension without pay and was unable to participate in team activities. "I have nothing against the Cubs," Zambrano said. "I have the Cubs in my heart. I was upset with myself because I wasn't pitching the way I am supposed to. It's frustrating. One of the things affecting me is that I'm being paid $18 million a year and I feel like I'm pitching like a $2 million dollar a year pitcher. "I feel like I haven't been pulling my weight. I did want to retire for a short while that night but I changed after taking some time. I still feel like I could pitch for the Cubs, but it's obviously their decision at this point."