As the trial in the BALCO case wrapped up, America watched as a resounding and powerful message was sent to anyone and everyone who entertained any thoughts of researching, designing, and distributing steroids. That message: GO FOR IT! In a Martha Stewart-esque sentence, BALCO head and porn business manager look-alike Victor Conte was dealt the punishing blow of 4 months in prison, followed by 4 months of house arrest. Greg Anderson, personal trainer who distributed the substances in question to some of his clients, received 6 months in prison. Justice was served ladies and gentlemen. On Russian Rye bread with lemonade and your choice of soup, chips, or side salad. Do you mean to tell me that we listened to this garbage for the better part of 3 years for this? 20/20 interviews, grand jury testimony (leaked to that bastion of journalistic integrity the San Francisco Chronicle), proposed asterisks in the baseball record books, and Bill Romanowski got ?us? (and of course when I say ?us? I mean the ?People? like in that ?The People vs. Victor Conte/Greg Anderson? thing) 10 months of prison time? Apparently, the ?People? should have tried to get Jack McCoy; at least he would have made it interesting (he'd also put us onto a great financial guy). Furthermore, he would have had a beautiful Assistant DA to take our minds off of the absurdity of the whole thing (I'll take Angie Harmon by the way). I thought this was supposed to be the biggest scandal in the history of sports. Bigger than the Black Sox, Pete Rose, and the entire sport of boxing. The scandal that was going to bring baseball to its knees, along with some of its highest profile players like Barry Bonds, Jason Giambi, and a host of others. The benchmark case that would provide the impetus for stricter penalties for steroid use in sports. But now we're left with this. How can any of the professional sports leagues honestly try to impose stiffer penalties on the people who use illegal substances when the people who created the substances in question got less of a penalty than I would if I was driving with an expired driver's license? Private business or not, that seems mighty difficult to grasp to me. Even more so, due to the track record of professional sports, the Congress of the United States of America has proposed a universal steroid policy that would be monitored by an independent governing body. The proposal carries with it a 2 year ban for first-time offenders, and a lifetime ban for second-timers. Based on the verdict handed down to Conte and Anderson, that seems painfully hypocritical and obscenely unfair. I understand that athletes, even if they wish otherwise, are role models to children. I understand that the commissioners of the various leagues and Congress would like to keep sports as clean and pure as possible. And I understand that perhaps the current penalties are insufficient. But what I understand more than any of those things is that holding athletes responsible for their actions, while a noble endeavor, seems implausible based on what just happened in court. If steroids are indeed considered an illegal drug, how is it that the distributors of the drug would receive significantly less punishment than the users? Were that Pablo Escobar had this type of good fortune. Even though they are obviously much less in the limelight, lawyers and judges are role models too: role models for this country. Maybe kids don't look up to them the way they do LeBron James or Michael Vick, but America does. We rely on them to keep our Judicial System working. Maybe not anymore. Perhaps now we rely on them more to give us television fodder for the 3 Law and Orders and the 3 CSIs. I'm hopeful that this entire episode can be put behind us. I imagine most people will want it swept under a rug somewhere. For the good of our sanity as a people, we need it to go away. Because I don't think we can take anymore of Victor Conte's creepy smirk. A smirk that he should get permanently tattooed on his face after a victory like this.