by buster gunning ?It has always been my favorite sport, the true love of my life!? Exclaimed the dominating 6?11? Yankees pitcher. ?I only played baseball because I was pressured into it from a young age by an overzealous father.? Validating rumors throughout the MLB pertaining to his poor numbers this season behind a direct result of his heart lying in another sport, Randy Johnson has expressed his interest in being a ?scab? for the National Basketball Association should there be a lockout next season. The gangly Johnson, whose is having one of his worst seasons on record, is not the dominant pitcher in New York as he was with the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Seattle Mariners. Many have speculated that he was getting to old to dominate, but it now clear that his mind is focused on other things. ?I have hired NBA great Danny Schayes to help me work on my game.? Johnson said. ?Whenever there is a spare minute I am out there shooting 3-bombs and running line sprints. I can almost dunk as well, this is all very exciting.? Danny Schayes, whose prolific career in the NBA does not get as much respect as it deserves, thinks Johnson can be a big-time gamer in the League if given a proper shot. ?He is coming along nicely,? said Schayes. ?He is a bit awkward at times which is why we have brought in Laker center Vlade Divac and L.A. legend, Ravishing Rick Fox. It is my hope that Divac can help Randy improve his court rhythm while Fox helps with Johnson?s overall style and look.? Rick Fox did not have much to say about Johnson?s chances, keeping most of the conversation about Ravishing Rick. ?I used to be married to Vanessa Williams!? The only words he could muster. I had a chance to sit in on a Randy Johnson training session and was even privy to a one-one-one match between Divac and his prot?g?. The timing of the game was a little off to say the least. Johnson?s movements seemed a bit off beat, his elbows swinging at awkward angles with each rebound. To add to that, much of the action was interrupted by Divac arguing just about every Johnson foul call with his patented shrugging of his shoulders while his head moved from left to right looking for somebody to validate his protest of each call. With all due respect to one of the most dominant pitchers the MLB has ever seen, I desperately hope there is no NBA lockout for next season. The preceeding article is a piece of satirical fiction.