By Buster Gunning Forget the fact that they are a winning team every year. Forget the fact that they have won the National League East 8 times in the past 10 seasons. The Braves are revamping their image as a result of a Ted Turner (a previous owner and Atlanta media mogul) blowout in which he called the Braves ?more boring than Tim Duncan after a drop-step dunk.? For the past decade the Atlanta Braves have boasted superior pitchers such as former aces, Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine and Jon Smoltz to name just a few. With good pitching comes a plethora of wins, however, wins are not bringing in the fans. It is widely proven that home-runs are what fill the bleachers night in and night out. After their first attempt to build a new stadium on a mile of landfill to create a situation similar to the Colorado Rockies mile-high ?Coors Field? failed with the voters, they have decided to dump their pitching salaries and use that money to bring it some heavy hitters. ?We want guys who can hit dingers,? said manager Bobby Cox. ?We are not so much focused on winning anymore as we are bringing in guys who can hit the long-ball, that will pack the seats.? Rumor has it the Braves first move it to bring former Detroit Tigers slugger Cecil Fielder out of retirement. Following up on this, I asked Mr. Cox whether or not Fielder was in good enough shape to come back to the MLB. ?What does it matter, we are bringing him in to hit homers Buster! All he will need to do is be able to walk the bases, jeesh.? The preceding article was a piece of satirical fiction.