By Buster Gunning Alex Rodriquez is still unhappy in New York, and his latest demand has him taking back the coveted shortstop position as well as taking the legal name of Derek Jeter along with all the media benefits that comes with said name. Baseball?s highest paid player is unhappy yet again. All-Star Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriquez is already making demands for 2008. In a statement given by Mr. Rodriquez?s agent Scott Boras, A-Rod details his latest demands: ?Alex is not happy in New York. He is tired of playing second-fiddle to what he describes as New York?s little darling Derek Jeter. Alex?s first demand is to be place back at shortstop, the position he gave up to accommodate Mr. Jeter. His second demand is to be given legal authority to change his name to Derek Jeter and to be called by said name from here on out. My client does not care what Mr. Jeter changes his name to, so long as he does not go by Derek Jeter anymore. Alex has kindly suggested the names John Rocker, Mordecai ?Three-Finger? Brown, David Lee, or Lawrence Taylor as potential alternatives. My client?s final demand is more money. He didn?t specify how much, he just wants loads and loads more money.? There is no word yet on whether these latest demand will be met; however, it seems unlikely that the demands of Alex Rodriguez?s demands will come into fruition. It is being reported that the family of Mordecai Brown will not sign over the rights to the dead pitchers' name. Should A-Rod grow a mustache?: [email protected] The preceding article was a piece of satirical fiction.