By Buster Gunning Red Sox slugger David Ortiz has finally gone public about his displeasure with the nickname ?Big Pappi?, a term so liberally used in the media. In a scheduled media conference, an emotionally-drained David Ortiz make public his sensitivity toward his nickname ?Big Pappi? which he claims takes a direct shot at his ongoing weight problem. ?There is nothing affectionate about that nickname!? Ortiz exclaimed during the conference. ?For years I have struggled with my weight and since the advent of this nickname, my problems have become worse.? ?I have come to the point of self-loathing and no amount of homeruns or championships will make me feel better about myself.? Johnny Damon, the former teammate and long-time friend of Ortiz voiced his concerns from his ranch in Montana. ?Pappi looks off. He doesn?t have that swagger in his step. Also, he appears to be weak and tired all of the time. My last season in Boston he even stopped eating at the team buffets. Well, he didn?t actually stop, but he did limit his portion to one plate. It started to raise concern back then and it does not seem to be getting any better.? Are you sensitive about your weight, thin or heavy, talk to Buster at: [email protected] The preceding article was a piece of satirical fiction.