By Buster Gunning
Kenny Rogers has been in the media a bit more than he would like this year. The first half of the season has seen the 40-year old fireballer on top of his game, earning him a spot on the American League All-Star team. However, he has also been involved with more than a few incidents in which he became angry and lashed out at reporters and cameramen. One such incident earned him a suspension from the league and much disdain from the fans.
Buster ? Hello old friend, how are the kids?
Kenny Rogers ? Numerous and belligerent.
Buster ? Sounds about right. Now Kenny, you have been in the news a lot lately, mostly as a result to you lashing out at reporters and cameramen. What gives?
Kenny Rogers ? Well Buster, I am not going to sit here and deny that my behavior has been unusual lately. See, the thing is... I am an artist.
Buster ? I see.
Kenny Rogers - As an artist, I tend to lost control at times.
Buster ? Like Jackson Pollack.
Kenny Rogers ? Exactly! See, with my artistic talent comes a few drawbacks. These ?tantrums? as most of you wags out there have dubbed them, cannot be avoided.
Buster ? I see.
Kenny Rogers ? I am not making excuses here Buster, I am just not that kind of guy. I am merely trying to provide an explanation for my irrational behavior. It is the curse of the true artist.
Buster ? Fascinating.
Kenny Rogers ? What did you just say? Were you being sarcastic?
Buster ? No, not at all, what are you talking about?
Kenny Rogers ? There, you did it again. Get the hell out of my house.
Buster ? This is a coffee shop.
Kenny Rogers ? That?s it Buster, your ass is mine!
Note: Buster was not injured in the course of this interview.
The preceding article was a piece of satirical fiction.

