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Metrodome To Be Renamed ?Twinkie Stadium?
6th June, 2005 - 10:02 pm

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Buster Gunning, heir to the Hostess Twinkie fortune, takes us into detail about the new Minnesota Twins/Twinkie partnership, a story that hits close to home for our surly reporter.

The Hostess Company, makers of the indestructible ?Twinkie?, have sealed a deal with the Minnesota Twins to buy the stadium naming rights to the Metrodome.

The new name will be displayed as soon as Hostess can put the finishing touches on a giant 50-foot Twinkie replica that will hang above the stadiums entrance and is rumored to contain the actual filling present in all store-bought Twinkies.

Hostess representative Sam Puckett (no relation to twins star Kirby Puckett) was very excited about the partnership calling it a great revenue source for both the Twins and Hostess.

?It is widely known that many Twins fans around the area, some as far away as Minot, North Dakota, lovingly refer to the Twins as ?the Twinkies.? This creates the perfect opportunity for our two businesses to create an advertising relationship. We at Hostess truly believe that the name ?Twinkie Stadium? is a perfect fit for our fabulous Minnesota Twins.

Details of the arrangement were not known at this time, however, as part of the contract Hostess will covert the concessions entirely to Twinkies and Twinkie related products. There is even talk of some kind of alcohol Twinkie concoction.

?I won?t go into too much detail about our new alcoholic Twinkie as I do not want to ruin the surprise,? said Puckett. ?What I can tell you is that the cup will be actual Twinkie breading and the alcohol will take the place of the filling. Delicious!?

The preceeding article is a piece of satirical fiction.