yardbarker
RealGM Baseball
RealGM Feature - Locker Talk
A-Rod: Madonna Will Win Me A World Series
6th November, 2008 - 11:11 am

Archives
29th Jul, 2008
71-Year Old Rookie Clay Council?s MLB Debut A Disaster

16th Jun, 2008
Mike Piazza Signs Ten-Million Dollar Deal With Pert Plus

Full Archive

Current Features
TEAM RANKINGS:
RealGM Team Rankings For The Week Of August 9th
The Tigers have jumped into the Top 10, the Mariners have fallen to 25th and the Yankees, Nationals, Cardinals and Reds still comprise the first four spots.
9th August, 2012.

STANDING 10:
2012 Fantasy Baseball Cheat Sheet
Need a way to quickly dominate your fantasy baseball draft. Check out our tips, strategies and position-by-position tiers.
22nd March, 2012.

CLASSICS:
Unearned Run Cost
The goal of Unearned Run Cost (URC) is to show how many extra runs a team gives up due to their errors or how successful the team is in not allowing those errors to cost them on the scoreboard.
5th May, 2010.

PLAYER RANKINGS:
Final MLB Player Rankings For 2009
Albert Pujols, Tim Lincecum and Roy Halladay were amongst baseball's best players again in 2009, but also joining them were Zack Greinke, Justin Verlander, Joe Mauer, Prince Fielder and Felix Hernandez.
25th January, 2010.

by Buster Gunning

Yankees' third baseman Alex Rodriguez has been in the news over the past few months just as much for his personal exploits as his play on the diamond.

Of course, New York's absence from the postseason didn't help, but Rodriguez's divorce from his wife, Cynthia, was a hot topic in the papers and online even during the regular season.

The latest involving A-Rod is that he's getting hot-and-heavy with Madonna, perhaps the most recognizable pop star of her generation.

Just months after Alex and Cynthia filed their paper work, Madonna and Guy Ritchie followed suit, opening up the possibility for the two lovebirds to canoodle without consequence.

Now Alex is attending Kabbalah services with Madonna and her unibrowed daughter, and towards the end of the 2008 season Madonna appeared numerous times at Yankee Stadium to see her Dominican heartthrob field third.

Alex sat down with RealGM on Wednesday to discuss the 2008 season, the developments surrounding his relationship with Madonna and what to expect next season.

"I really can't wait for the 2009 season to start," Rodriguez said. "I feel as though I'm in much better position to succeed with Maddy (he smiles and pauses). "Sorry, that's my pet name for her."

Rodriguez hasn't had any lack of personal success during his time with the Yankees, but New York hasn't won a World Series since 2000, well before A-Rod came to the Bronx.

"I've done some great things as an individual in New York," he said. "But in 2009, with some improved pitching and Madonna at my side, I'm ready to bring a World Series title to the Bronx."

Cynthia provided Alex with a pair of beautiful children, but Alex claims that Madonna will help bring him an even greater gift.

"I love my kids and Cynthia was truly a fox before she stopped going to the gym twice a day," Rodriguez admitted. "Now with my improved focus, better conditioning and my new religion, there's nothing I feel I can't do on the baseball field."

Rodriguez is considered one of the game's best third baseman, but the Yankees have considerable issues to confront this winter.

"I called Brian [Cashman] a few days after the season ended," Alex said. "I told him not to worry about who he is and isn't going to sign. I know we need pitching, but Madonna and I hit the gym at least four times a day, I'm working on a pretty nasty two-seam fastball. I think I can pitch every fifth day this coming season."

Manager Joe Girardi isn't thrilled at the thought of losing his top-flight third baseman at least once a week should Rodriguez find his way into the rotation, but Alex, who can be a very convincing man, eased Joe's concerns.

"Joe is hesitant to lose my defense should I join the rotation, which I will, but I told him not to worry," A-Rod said. "I'm going to wear a third baseman's glove on the mound and charge to third right after I deliver to home plate.

"I plan to become the first-ever Cy Young winner to hit 50 home runs."

Once again, Alex has to know that say, 25 wins and 50 homers, won't be enough for the Yankee faithful to embrace him the way they do Derek Jeter.

"I'll take care of that too," he continued. "Madonna has assured me that converting from Catholicism to Kabbalah will ensure a championship for the Yankees.

"I'll finally be welcomed with open arms in the Bronx."


Can Madonna help the Yankees ended their recent October struggles?: Buster.Gunning@RealGM.com


The preceding article was a piece of satirical fiction.