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Mike Piazza Signs Ten-Million Dollar Deal With Pert Plus

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Mike Piazza Signs Ten-Million Dollar Deal With Pert Plus

16th June, 2008 - 12:12 pm

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By Buster Gunning

Now that he is officially out of Major League Baseball, future Hall of Fame catcher Mike Piazza is returning to his first love, commercial acting.

"I'm not gay!?

This old quote taken from the New York Times declared by the future Hall of Fame catcher is more relevant today than ever before as Mike Piazza gets set to start a second major advertising campaign for America?s most beloved shampoo/conditioner combo.

In a recent announcement, Benjamin Millburn, director in charge of the Pert Plus brand echoed the excitement around the Pert camp.

?We are very happy to announce that retired New York Mets catcher Mike Piazza will be joining us for a second tour. We believe Mike was crucial in getting Pert to the public back in the 90?s, and now that he has more time to devote to the campaign, we are confident we can get our unique blend of shampoo and conditioner lathered in one out of every two heads across the nation.?

Millburn went on to say:

?We like Mike Piazza because of his ability to attract both the female and male clientele. His elegantly flowing soft curls are essential to the proper representation of our quality product. In addition, there isn?t a member on staff who doesn?t adore his little mustache; that alone is worth the ten million dollars, wouldn?t you say??

Mike Piazza is busy enjoying some much needed time off and declined to respond in detail; however, he did have the following comment:

"I can't control what people think. I am married to a Playboy Playmate, and I even had a child with her. I think that proves it; doesn't it?"

Eric Karros or Mike Piazza? You Decide?: Buster.Gunning@realgm.com

The preceding article was a piece of satirical fiction.

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